Ok, so I have not been sticking to this new workout like I wanted to. I have not been consistent six days a week. I have, however, been making up for it on other days. If I skip a day, I do twice as much the next day. Today was the prime example of that.
Yesterday I was off from work and did not do much all day. I really didn't feel like working out. Tuesday has usually been my off day from workouts so I took advantage of that. I didn't eat much all day. I never really had anything for supper. Then went to a friend's house to celebrate her birthday. I had chips, a couple of cupcakes and two Jagerbombs on top of all that. I didn't get home until after midnight and stayed up later goofing around on the computer. I finally didn't go to bed until around 2:00 a.m. I got up around 9:00 or 10:00 a.m., had some cereal and watched SportsCenter all day. I did get dressed in my workout clothes and kept saying I was going to workout starting at noon. That never happened. I finally gave up, went and grabbed some Burger King for lunch, and went to work. I didn't take a lunch, nor could I leave to go and grab some Subway, so I had to have a greasy sandwich from the Cafe. It was delicious but I knew it was not healthy at all.
The other thing that has been knocking me down has been that I have not seen the big results on the scale like I used to. I used to be able to do several workouts and drop three to four pounds in a week. Now I am doing P90X and I am not losing anything. I am still at 311 lbs. The one glimmer of light at the end of this tunnel is one of the other numbers on the scale. One of the readings tells me the weight of my body fat. Last time the scale read 122 lbs. of body fat. Now it's down to about 121 lbs. I did notice that, yes, I am down to 311 lbs. and that is TWO pounds less than two weeks ago. Okay, so I have lost a couple of pounds. I am proud of that. It's just that I was used to bigger numbers. I know my body is changing and adapting to the new weight. Now, to lose some more serious weight, I need to hit this hardcore. I'm talking serious calorie counting AND P90X workouts. I'm getting there. Right now it's just gonna take some time to find the right meals all over again. I need to find new meals that I can cook up in bulk and store them so I can take them to work.
I guess that's why I was in a grouchy mood all night. I didn't exercise when I knew I had to. And I really wanted to, too. So as I was getting ready to leave for the night, I told myself, "I have to workout when I get home." I knew it was something I wanted to do. I also knew I HAD to do it for myself. So I did. I popped in the shoulders and arms workout of P90X and followed up with Ab Ripper X. Feeling great! Great sweat! Now I feel better about myself. I don't feel like such a slob anymore.
As I was resting a bit in the middle of the ab workout, I was laying there and saying to myself, "I really needed this workout. Who would have thought a year ago I would be saying this." I know I would not have believed it myself, but it's true. If I don't get to workout I feel like crap. Not only physically but mentally and emotionally. I feel like I let myself down for not sticking to my commitment. I also feel bad for eating all the unhealthy food. And the way I make up for it is by doing these late night workouts.
I do what I have to do. I do what needs to be done. I am doing this for my health. I am doing this for my well being. I am doing this so that "future Rene" will be here a lot longer.
