Welcome! My name is Rene Barrera and I weigh 435 pounds. My mission is to lose 100 lbs. by my next birthday, June 15, 2010. I also plan to run in next year's "Beach to Bay" relay marathon on May 15, 2010. These are the goals I have set before me. Through hard work, self motivation, and encouragement from my family and friends, I will accomplish my goals. I do not believe this to be a second chance to have a healthy life. I do not believe I ever had a healthy life. This is the start of a new beginning for me. A start at a new and healthy life.
My story is typical. I have been overweight as long as I can remember. My weight never really became an issue for me until I entered junior high. I remember when they called me into the nurse's office at school and the nurse talked to me about proper diet and nutrition. She explained the food pyramid to me.
Low amounts of fats, oils and sweets at the top, large amounts of breads, rice and cereals at the bottom, with milk, meat, fruits and vegetables mixed in the middle. We had that poster taped up to pantry at home for a while. We never really paid much attention to it. The other thing I remember from that day was how much I weighed. This had to have been in 7th grade, which would put me at around13 years old. At that age, I weighed 246 lbs. That is not good!
All through junior high and high school, I knew I was a big guy but never really did anything about it. I was the just that big guy. I was the big guy who played tennis and not football. I would always be told that I should try out for football. I told them I play tennis because I was allergic to pain. I always used humor as a defense mechanism and hid behind my pain. It was the weight that held me back. Actually, I would not say that. It was my lack of self confidence because I THOUGHT it was my weight that was holding me back. I was always embarrassed and ashamed because I was so big. I never took my shirt off in public. At that age, I had huge man boobs that have plagued me to this day. I remember joking about them in elementary and used them as a pillow when we had to put our head down on the desk. Looking back now, that was not good. I remember one time during a pep rally at high school. I was in the front row and the cheerleaders were grabbing students to come out to the middle of the basketball court to dance around and have fun. One of them came and grabbed me by the wrist and tried to get me out there. I was too embarrassed and struggled with her to let me go. She kept pulling but I stood my ground. She finally gave up and moved on to someone else. The second she let go, I wished I had gone out there. But it was too late. My moment was gone. And it was not anything bad, it was just going out there and having fun and I could not do that. I could not have fun because I was embarrassed of my weight and size.
After high school, I never really paid much attention to my weight. I went to college for a few years and kept getting bigger and bigger. I could barely fit into the student desks. I would squeeze into them and felt like everyone was staring at me. It was not a pretty sight. Years go by and I started working. Again, never really paying much attention to my weight. Next thing I know, I had ballooned up to 360 pounds by my early twenties. I used to say I was a perfect circle. At one point I did start working out. I joined a gym and followed the regiment of Bob Phillips in his book Body for Life. I went to the gym six days a week, alternating between upper and lower body workouts with a cardio workout every other day. I did that for about seven weeks, just shy of the program's twelve weeks. I dropped about 50 to 60 pounds. I plateaued at around 310 pounds. I could not break into the 200s. The thing was I was doing the exercises, but not really monitoring my eating. I watched what I ate, but they were not healthy choices. I was basically eating whatever I wanted and working it off at the gym.
My most recent lowest weight is around 310 pounds. Flash forward to December, 2009. At age 36, I now weigh a whopping 435 pounds. I would say I weighed 310 when I was around 25 - 26 years old. In ten years, I slowly gained 125 pounds. I just kept getting bigger and bigger. For a while there, I really didn't care about my weight. I just kept buying bigger clothes. They were there, so why not buy them. I kept putting my smaller clothes in the back of the closet or throwing them out. I now have a closet full with over a hundred articles of clothing. Out of all those clothes, I only feel comfortable, and wear on a regular basis, in less than 25% of them. The rest just hangs there waiting for the day that I can fit into them again.
I have several shirts from my favorite band in the whole wide world, the Dave Matthews Band. I can't wear any of them out in public because they are way too snug and accentuate my rolls. I would LOVE to wear them out in public again. I recently saw a photo of myself taken in the summer of 2001. I was at an animation event held at the Disney Institute. In the photo I was wearing a Dave Matthews Band t-shirt, and it looked like it fit comfortably. I mean, it had to because I was wearing it out in public! It looked loose on me and I was happy. If I was to try that same shirt on I wouldn't even wear it around the house. And I live alone and have no one to be embarrassed around. I want to fit in that shirt again. I want to fit into ALL those shirts and pants again.
So here I am. I am about to embark on a journey that hopefully will change my life forever. I have the motivation all around me. The most recent season of NBC's The Biggest Loser just had their finale. Their winner, Danny Cahill, lost a record-setting 232 pounds. He started at 430. In seven months, he now weighs 198! I copied the article on the finalists and have it taped up in my bedroom in a place where it is one of the first things I see when I get up out of bed. I look at it and I say, "I will be just like you. I will beat you! I may not do it in seven months but I will get there." Right now, my first goal is to lose 100 pounds by my next birthday, June 15, 2010. Before that day comes, I hope to compete in the local "Beach to Bay" relay marathon. At the moment, I do not intend to run the entire 4.4 miles leg. If I have to walk, I will do so, but I do hope I am able to run most of it. I need to invest in a new pair of running shoes and start working on my cardio.
Today, Monday, December 14, 2009, is the start of my new beginning!
